Hey loves!!! I’m here writing again!! This post is about my
best friend and I. Me and B have been best friends since high school. Crazy
enough in the beginning we had a strong dislike for each other but eventually
that dislike turned into love. She has been the best, best friend a girl could
ever wish for… and although we were complete opposites it somehow worked for
us. I always knew I could count on her within our ten year friendship and I
hope she know I would do anything for her. However, our friendship has not been
the best recently. I’m not sure why. I know I can blame myself for a lack of
communication. I would get so frustrated I started to make petty remarks or
shut all the way down.
I have been upset with my best friend over some smaller
things but I think my 25th birthday was the straw that broke the
camel’s back. I had the night planned completely out Red Lobster and a comedy
show!! Sounds fun right, right!! Before my birthday approached I had a strong
feeling that I would not being seeing her. However, I tried to convince myself
that I am simply overreacting because she told me that she would be at my house
on time. Unfortunately, my intuition was right. My birthday came and past I did
not see B. I also did not receive any I can’t make it call/text or even an I’m
sorry text. Days later I reached out to B and decided to send her a text. All I
wanted was a heartfelt apology. However, the only thing I received was a “Well
I did call you.” She tried to explain how she had to work and then this and
that happened and she would make it up to me. But the only thing I was hearing
was an excuse. She also did not mention a 25th birthday redo past
our initial conversation. I felt the
apology seemed like an I’m just saying this to shut you up. If I didn’t respond
to the call why didn’t I have a voicemail left on my phone? Why didn’t I get a
call/text the next day? Why was I the one that had to reach out to her when she
is the one who missed my 25th birthday? That situation truly hurt my
feelings. I honestly felt like that is when our friendship came to a horrifying
crash.
I know I’m not perfect and I’m pretty sure I’ve done some
things to piss her off. But can I at least have a conversation regarding those situations.
I can’t change what’s wrong if I don’t know what’s wrong. Personally, I felt
like I could have been a better friend when her father passed away or when she
and her boyfriend ended their relationship. But I didn’t know how… B is a very
private person. At least with me she is… She always mentions how she talked to
another friend about various situations. But that leaves no room for me to help
even if I wanted too. I guess they have everything covered in her eyes…
I know I haven’t been the best at communication but I at
least I try. I know I may have mentioned in a joking manner about some issues
that made me upset. Off the top of my head I remember addressing how a third party
(my auntie) was telling me how B and her other best friend had all these
remarks regarding me being jealous of their friendship and me not liking the
other best friend. Another time I jokingly made a comment on how B can drive to
see her ex or take the train to do anything but not once can she visit me at my
apartment. I’ve been at my apartment two going on three years now.
Recently, I’ve just been feeling like I’m bothering her or
getting on her nerves by calling. So I’ve decided to stop. I wanted to know if
I wasn’t the one calling every single day would I receive my own phone calls. I
may have received a small amount here and there but the times I could remember I
was in the middle of something important. But listen up readers this is the
crazy part. During that time period she completely moves hours away. I did not
receive a phone call, text, voicemail, Facebook message, or anything. I had to
find out via social media. I wanted to know if I’ll ever get a call so I waited
a few days. Again nothing. When I finally called she explained how she called
once and I respond with a quick I’m busy text. In my eyes that meant I was in
the middle of something and couldn’t talk. But clearly I was right by my phone.
Why couldn’t I receive a responding text saying, “Hey this is really important
call me back.” That would have let me know hey maybe I should drop everything I
doing and focus on my best friend. Maybe I wasn’t one of her more important
friends because they had an entire goodbye gathering. Not to sound like a punk
but it really hurt my feelings.
But loves I’m not here to say I’m the perfect best friend. I’m
also not trying to say B was a horrible best friend. We had a great 10 year
friendship. I know when two girls become women interest change, priorities are
different, and values are different but I pray somehow we can overcome this
hurdle and get back to being the best of friends. I want our pendant to become one again. This post has became a little
lengthy and it’s barely half of what I’m feeling. But the money is calling and
I have to return to work. Bye loves!!!
